Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Are Things Really

As bad as they seem? I am talking about in relation to MIL's health issues, are things as bad as they seem? Is she just having tons of issues right now because of the move and the surgery and the combination of all these other factors? Or is she really as bad as all this...

She is having so much trouble coming up with the right words to use. She has had this trouble as long as I have known her (5 years), but it is horribly bad now. Then when she comes up with a word its still not the right word and makes absolutely no sense to those of us who are trying to figure out what she is saying. Then she will try and spell the word that she is looking for only to have the letters she puts together make no sense and most of the time they don't even spell any word, they are just random letters. I know its frustrating for her, but its so frustrating for us too because we can't figure out what she is trying to say! Communication is really so important and we are struggling with it right now. On top of the communication lacking, we are also trying to get her to understand that she doesn't get to go home. She is here for good. She argues with us that she can take care of herself and that she has friends back in Iowa who help her. We are trying to avoid talking about it with her at this point because we don't want to argue it. She doesn't remember or retain what we have said and it just frustrates all of us when she insists that she is going home soon. So we are just telling her we will see in the future how things are going and decide then. She doesn't remember doing things like putting her seatbelt on once she has done it. Its just a struggle everyday all day.

I have started 'caregiving' journals for both gramma and MIL so that if we ever get some respite care, I will have these to print out for the volunteers to be aware of issues and other things. It helps to get things out and be able to read through them and see if we can thing differently or whatever.

MIL has her first appt with her new oncologist on Friday, so hopefully we will have a better idea of what we are up against after that. We have not gotten a detailed diagnosis for this most recent cancer or a prognosis. We will also be asking the oncologist for the order for Hospice care to start that right away.

Alright, so I feel better getting some of this out...I am hoping it will be a resource for me to use to keep my sanity about me!

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